Introduction: Many of us go through life reacting in ways we don’t fully understand. Why do certain situations trigger intense emotions or make us shut down? Often, it’s because we have been trained by trauma, not truth. In other words, some of our deepest habits, reflexes, and beliefs were shaped by painful experiences rather than wisdom or reality. They served as survival mechanisms in the moment of hurt, but now they may be holding us back. Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” . To embrace that freedom, we first
need to recognize where we’ve been living by trauma’s training instead of by God’s truth.
When Trauma Becomes Your Teacher
Trauma isn’t just something that happens to us – it often becomes our teacher. We develop mental scripts and reflexes aimed at avoiding any repeat of the pain we felt. For example, you might have learned lessons like:
● “Don’t cry, or they’ll think you’re weak.”
● “Don’t speak up, or they’ll reject you.”
● “Don’t expect much, or you won’t be disappointed.”
These conclusions aren’t random thoughts; they’re conditioned responses. Your nervous system essentially memorized the pain you went through, and your mind wrote an internal script to protect you from it happening again. Psychologists note that during trauma, the brain can switch to “auto-pilot” mode, bypassing rational thought and relying on ingrained survival responses . In other words, you start living by habits and fears engraved by past wounds, often without even realizing it . Over time, those trauma-taught reflexes feel normal. But here’s the catch: acting out of trauma is not the same as acting out of truth. You may no longer be in danger, yet you still live as if you are, following the “rules” trauma taught you instead of the freedom God’s truth offers.
The Pattern of This World vs. the Pattern of Wounds
In the Bible, Romans 12:2 warns: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” We often think “the pattern of this world” means external culture or peer pressure. But what if the pattern you’re conforming to is actually the pattern of your wounds? Trauma can create its own worldly pattern in our lives – a cycle of behavior that mimics our past pain. Consider some common examples of trauma programming:
● Avoiding intimacy: You disconnect or pull away when things (or people) get too close, because closeness once led to hurt.
● Needing control: You panic or feel unsafe whenever you’re not in control, because chaos or unpredictability in the past made you vulnerable.
● Craving chaos: You oddly find yourself sabotaging peace or creating drama, because you’re more familiar with chaos than calm, so quiet feels uncomfortable.
These behaviors might seem like “just your personality,” but often that’s not personality – that’s programming. They are patterns learned in a hurtful world, not traits given by God. If our minds stay unrenewed, we remain “conformed” to those old survival patterns. The good news is God doesn’t just want to rescue you from trauma; He intends to retrain you. His plan is to transform you by renewing your mind with truth, so you no longer live in automatic conformity to past wounds.
Discerning Good and Evil Again
There’s a verse in Hebrews about growing into spiritual maturity: “Solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” In a healthy state, truth trains us to discern what is good and what is not. But when trauma has been our teacher, our discernment gets confused. We might start to mix up what’s healthy and unhealthy, because trauma has redefined our internal dictionary. For example:
● You might mistake controlling everything for safety. (In reality, healthy trust and surrender can be safer than rigid control, but trauma taught you that only vigilance prevents harm.)
● You might think silence equals peace. (In reality, true peace sometimes requires speaking up and resolving conflict, but trauma taught you to keep your head down to avoid attack.)
● You might believe busyness means worth. (In reality, your worth isn’t based on productivity, but trauma or past pressures made you feel you must constantly perform to be valued.)
When these false equations rule our lives, it’s a sign our “distinguishers” of good vs. evil are off. We call evil things good (like numbing out as “peace”) and good things evil (like vulnerability as “weakness”). In short, trauma rearranges your definitions. Healing, then, isn’t just about feeling better; it’s about retraining your heart and mind to recognize truth from lies again. It means letting God’s Word and loving guidance recalibrate your sense of what is safe, true, and worthwhile.
The Voice of Truth Retrains
Image: A solitary figure walks forward on a clear path, symbolizing how God’s guidance (“This is the way, walk in it”) leads us out of the confusion of trauma and into truth.
The prophet Isaiah delivered a beautiful promise about God’s guidance in hard times:
“Though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself anymore… And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or to the left.”
Think about that imagery. Yes, you experienced “bread of adversity and water of affliction” – a poetic way to describe seasons of suffering. But God has not abandoned you to your trauma. He reveals Himself as your Teacher who won’t stay hidden. In fact, He positions Himself right behind you, whispering direction: “This is the way, walk in it.” Instead of trauma barking, “Stay silent, stay safe, trust no one,” you now have God’s loving voice coaching you forward: “Speak truth in love; you are safe with Me; trust Me and wise people I send into your life.” The Lord retrains us not through force or fear, but through truth spoken in love. The more we listen to that
Voice of Truth – through Scripture, prayer, and the Holy Spirit’s prompts – the more our hair-trigger trauma responses begin to calm. That voice behind you telling you the right way to go? “That’s not trauma. That’s truth.” And step by step, truth redefines your reflexes.
Reflection: Unlearning the Lie
God invites us into a process of unlearning the lies trauma taught us and relearning His truth.
Here are three reflection questions for your journey this week:
- What patterns in your life feel automatic but aren’t actually healthy? (Identify one habit or reaction you have that might be a holdover from past wounds rather than a reflection of God’s truth.)
- Can you trace that pattern back to a wound or fear? (Ask yourself when you first started
acting this way – was it after a specific hurt or during a certain season of life?) - What would the truth of God say instead of what your trauma says? (Find a scripture or a
truthful statement that counters the lie your trauma taught you.)
As you ponder these, consider replacing your trauma-trained scripts with God’s voice. For
example, if your past tells you “I must earn rest or I don’t deserve it,” the truth might be:
● “I do not have to earn rest – rest is a gift from God, and He wants me to have it.”
● “My voice matters, even if not everyone agrees. I can speak up with love and not fear rejection.”
● “God’s love for me isn’t withdrawn when I mess up. His grace is steady, so I don’t need to live in shame.”
Each time you choose the truth over the old training, you are unlearning the lie and retraining your heart. It’s not instantaneous, but with constant use, you’ll get better at discerning the voice of truth from the voice of trauma. And “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
This post is drawn from Chapter Four of THEY by Kevin Peterkin, and inspired by Episode 5 of the “Deep Within: The Unlearning Sessions” podcast titled “Trained by Trauma, Not Truth.” For the full story, real-life examples, and additional resources for healing, visit DeepWithin.me – a space dedicated to helping you unlearn the lies, reclaim your voice, and live aligned with the truth.
Until next time, remember: You are not what your trauma taught you. Listen for the Teacher’s voice behind you. Unlearn the lie. Reclaim your voice. Live aligned.
Sources:
- Holy Bible, New International Version. Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” .
- Holy Bible, New International Version. Hebrews 5:14 – “Solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” .
- Holy Bible, New International Version. John 8:32 – “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” .
- Holy Bible, Isaiah 30:20–21 – Promise of God’s guidance through adversity .
- UNC Assault Survivors Advocacy Program – Neurobiology of Trauma (explains how the brain goes into survival “auto-pilot” during trauma)
