Unlearning the Role and Returning to the Room
Somewhere along the way, a lesson slipped into the soul: Do more, and you become more.
Please them, and they will keep you. Behave well, and you will be loved well.
So we began performing. At church. At home. In relationships. We played the part of “faithful,”
“stable,” “strong.” and we became what made others comfortable.
The applause came. The image stayed polished. But the peace never arrived. Because peace
does not come from being seen. Peace comes from being known.
The Pressure to Stay “Right”
Inside systems that reward production, we often equate consistency with holiness.
We build rhythms. We follow rules. We stay “on.” We measure growth by output and faith by
visibility. But spiritual formation cannot be measured by performance.
It takes root in presence. Presence makes room for questions. Presence honors vulnerability.
Presence upholds you when performance collapses.
The Older Brother Syndrome
In Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of two sons. The younger one left. The older one stayed. But
when love showed up as a feast, only one son refused to enter.
The older brother kept the rules. He stayed close. He worked hard. But the celebration felt
unfair, because his obedience became entitlement.
He viewed presence as a reward instead of a gift. And here lies the truth: Pride in performance
creates distance from presence.
When Righteousness Becomes Roleplay
Jesus spoke plainly to the Pharisees:
Their posture looked holy. Their rituals stayed sharp. But their souls remained untouched.
This wasn’t just about the temple. This is the office. The scroll. The platform. The feed.
When culture praises performance, performance becomes identity. We perform healing. We
perform freedom. We perform peace.
And eventually, the mask begins to speak louder than the mouth.
Galatians 3 — Return to What Began in the Spirit
Paul speaks to the Galatians:
In other words, the starting place was intimacy. The journey began with surrender. The breath
came before the effort.
No audition secures what love already gave. No appearance improves what grace already
covered. No title replaces the tenderness of belonging.
God never designed identity as a performance. God designed identity as presence.
This Week’s Soul Inventory
Pay attention this week to every “I should…”
● I should be over this by now.
● I should have more faith.
● I should act stronger.
● I should look more healed.
When the voice of “should” shows up, pause.
Ask:
● Is this movement or maintenance?
● Is this obedience or performance?
● Is this for truth or for approval?
Release the need to be impressive. Return to the gift of being present.
